


198 - Reader is a Bad Ass with a Heart of Gold

by storiesaboutvan



Category: Catfish and the Bottlemen (Band)
Genre: Cute meet, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 20:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17392889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesaboutvan/pseuds/storiesaboutvan
Summary: Filling the prompts “Van is dating a bad girl. Not naught bad, but rebellious bad. Tattoos, smoking, etc. She’s tough and mean and he softens her.” and “the reader likes kpop but van does not know about it, and one day she’s watching a video or something and he sees and teases her about it?”





	198 - Reader is a Bad Ass with a Heart of Gold

The blender smashed to pieces on the concrete sidewalk, but there was no time to mourn that lost. The security guard was only a couple of seconds behind you. You looked up at the person you'd collided with. He looked confused and his lips formed a lop-sided smile.

"Fuck, you're a babe. Ah, I gotta go though. Tell him I went the other way, yeah?" you said to the guy, kissed his cheek, and ran to catch up with your friend, who was waiting on the corner yelling your name. When security didn't round the corner after you, you knew the babe had done his job. Bless his pretty freckles and long eyelashes and bright blue eyes.

"Okay, so, we couldn't steal a blender from a bar, but I mean, we definitely did our best," you said to Ava, taking stock of the situation.

"Yeah. But it's not good enough. How we gonna make our margaritas now?"

…

"If you guys have been drinking I'm not going to tattoo you. You fucking know this, Y/N. Thins your blood and you'll bleed everywhere," Charlie said.

"Charlieeeeee, we ain't drunk. We're just super stoked to see you. Now, we want little candy hearts with our names,"

"Each other's or your own?" Charlie asked, still looking skeptical.

"I can't tell if you're joking or just really fucking dumb," Ava replied.

You left the shop with Ava's name in a pink heart. It was part of a growing collection of small tattoos. There was no overall design, no long term plan. You were a sticker book of moments and memories. Ava's art was only starting, so your name in a purple heart was more obvious on her skin.

"Do you think Charlie knew we're drunk?" she asked in a whisper as you climbed aboard the bus and pretended to have no money for a ticket. You pouted and the driver couldn't be bothered arguing. Ava copied your act and followed you to the back seat.

"We're not drunk anymore," you said.

"Right. Fuckin' right. To the pub then?"

"To the pub!"

…

Ava was busy making out with someone in a bathroom stall, so you went out the front for a smoke by yourself. You shook your lighter again, but it still wouldn’t just make the fire needed to spark your cigarette. Someone stepped away from their group of friends to help. He cupped his hand around the smoke as he lit it.

"Thanks," you said and looked up. He was familiar but you couldn't place him. He looked at you like he knew you though. "What?" you asked when he staring.

"Sorry… Um… We… The other day, you bumped into me downtown. Think you were-"

"Oh!" you yelled in sudden realisation. The helpful babe! "Yeah. Yeah, I was stealing a blender. Hey, thanks for passing the message along,"

"Um. No worries. Why were you stealing a blender from a pub?" he asked, his tone genuinely curious rather than judgmental.

"Margaritas,"

"Right. Obviously. Could you not just borrow one, or buy one?"

"No fun in that, yeah?"

He laughed. "Guess not. I'm Van, by the way," he said and held his hand out. You looked at it then back up at him. Slowly you reached out and shook his hand dramatically.

"Nice to meet ya Van By The Way. I'm Y/N,"

"Y/N. So… are you here to steal more kitchen appliances?"

You'd finished your cigarette, sucking through yours twice as fast as him. The wind was picking up and you wanted to go back inside.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Not really your business now, is it mate?"

"Maybe I can help," he offered, stepping closer.

"Nah. You don't seem like the thieving type. You're all nice and stuff, yeah? Probably own a fluffy dog and write poems about girls," you joked, flicking your butt into the gutter. Van looked off into the distance with an expression you couldn't read.

"That was… surprisingly accurate,"

"I'm a good judge of character. Anyway. Gotta find my friend. See ya later, Van By The Way."

You walked away before he could say anything more.

Inside Ava was at the bar ordering shots for you, her, and her new friend. You downed the liquid fast, unnerved by Van's warmth and the shade of pink in his cheeks.

…

A couple of weeks later you opened an unlocked bathroom stall door to find Van standing on the closed toilet lid. He looked like a deer in the headlights at first, but his face relaxed into an amused smile when he recognised you.

"We've got to stop meeting like this!" he joked. You were way too sober to see him. "Quick. Close the door," he said in a whisper, pulling you in by the jacket. You twisted the lock and looked back at him.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Nothing,"

"Nothing? You're standing on a toilet in the girls' bathroom in a pub. It's not even midnight and like, I've not even started drinking yet. Bit early to be doing weird shit like this, yeah?" you said.

"Okay, yeah, but this ain't as weird as it-" but he stopped talking when the door to the bathroom opened.

"You fucking in here, mate?" a deep voice asked. They were angry but trying hard to not seem that way. You looked at Van, eyebrows raised. He was shaking his head, eyes wide. You grinned. Footsteps and someone smashed a fist against the door of the second stall. Nobody in there, and he tried yours. Door locked and he banged again.

"Oh! My! Gosh! Like, it's totally not cool that you're in here!" you yelled in a fake voice. It was high pitched and squeaky. The type of voice that Donald Trump probably heard all women speak in. "Like, my boyfriend just totally said some mean stuff and I just need a minute and you're all bangy and yelly and I'm just not ready for that right now!"

"Fuck, sorry, sweetheart," the voice said, patronising and stupid. When the door opened and closed, you peeked your head out.

"Coast is clear," you told Van. He followed you out of the stall and into the bathroom. "Maybe you're more interesting than I gave you credit for,"

"Yeah. Stealing shit isn't the only way to have a personality, you know what I mean?" he said back, all snarky. You grinned.

"Yeah, I see that. So what did you do? What's gonna happen if he catches you?"

Van ran his hands through his hair, then looked at himself in the mirror for a second.

"He's a cunt, see, and he was with this girl that I knew in school. She's dead sweet. Convinced her to break up with him. Set her up with one of my mates. Happy ending for everyone but this guy," Van explained, pointing to the door. "Probably wants to have a right go, but never seen him in an actual fight, so he'll probably stop looking for me now that he's made a bit of a scene,"

"That's probably the most moral reason anyone's been hunted before. You're back to being too fuckin' adorable, mate," you replied, walking out the bathroom. Van quickly followed.

"Too adorable for what? I'm not adorable. I'm in a band!"

"That's nice,"

"Wait, Y/N, seriously," Van said. You turned around and he almost collided with you. "Let me buy you a drink, yeah? For helping me out just then."

Free booze; why not? A drink turned into three, which turned into a night. Ava kissed your lips and went home with an old friend, and Van stayed by your side as you smoked his hand rolled cigarettes.

"Where do you live?" you asked him.

"Close," he replied quickly, pushing off from the wall.

"Oh, hey. That was a good answer. You're getting the hang of this, babe. Come on then, Van By The Way, take us home."

Van kissed and fucked like he needed you to stay with him forever. He was careful when he worked out your tattoo was still healing. When you said it was hot to touch, he blew on it gently and smiled up at you. He was a horribly perfect mix of mess and menace, and kindness that made you felt at home. Dangerous.

When he asked for a proper date, you scoffed but agreed. After that, when he asked for a third and a forth, saying yes to him got easier and easier. Van was straight up in love with your trouble. When you called him drunk and in need of rescuing or backup, he'd arrive like the fucking cavalry, and welcomed you into his hoodie-clad arms. 

But, he also learned quickly not to put up with your shit. When there was no need for mayhem, he'd wait for you to settle down, give you a cup of tea, and lull you into a sleepy Sunday afternoon. He never meant to change you, but he did. You were softer around the edges and a hell of a lot more considerate of other people. Only Ava really noticed the change, but she was unconditional in her love. 

"Do you think maybe Van can fuck me into being a better person too?" she asked.

"That's not how it works but I'm in if she's in," Van said as he walked into the room. Neither of you knew he was awake and up. Ava giggled. She loved Van, and you loved that she loved him.

"Hi, Van,"

"Ava," he replied, leaning down and kissing her forehead, then yours. "What stupid ideas are we cooking up today?"

"Y/N is gonna show me how to do a normal day," Ava told him.

"A normal day, is it?"

"We're just going to drink that weird tea Mary got me, and watch K-pop videos," you told him. His face was blank.

"I don't know what that is, hey,"

"Fuuuuuuuuuck, Van. You don't know her at all!" Ava laughed.

"I haven't told him about K-pop because he'll ask too many questions and won't get it and it will make me irrationally angry. It's just better if he stays beautifully, blissfully ignorant," you told her.

"Just you just call me ignorant? Like, stupid?" Van asked, his eyebrows pulled together.

"No, baby. Can you put the kettle on?"

He stood up but glared at you as he left the room.

Van wandered around the house doing God knows what while you and Ava stayed cuddled up on the couch watching videos on your iPad. It was Van's house, but you spent more and more time there. He told you once that he liked you being there; he said it felt like the start of something real.

"Where'd that iPad come from?" Van asked when he delivered more tea. Ava sniggered. "Please do not tell me you stole a fuckin' iPad,"

"Okay, but wait, there's a really good story-"

"Y/N! Stop stealing shit! You think you're all tough with your boots and three day old eyeliner and fuckin' sassy pants, but you wouldn't last a minute in jail. I know 'cause you made me watch all of Orange is the New Black and they're all way tougher than you!"

"Okay, wow. Firstly," you started, turning to Ava. "Sassy pants!" you whispered to her. She was already nodding and trying to not hysterically laugh.

"For fuck's sake," Van muttered.

"Secondly! I'm so offended! I am at least as tough as Flaca and Maritza. Thirdly, I was on the bus and there was this guy in a suit and this old lady got on and she was like, super fucking old, and he saw her and totally didn't give up his seat-"

"Did you?" he asked.

"I'm like, bad, but not bad bad, Van. Course I did. Anyway! I watched him put his iPad in his newspaper then into his bag but it kinda slipped out. When he got up I saw a bunch of people notice but nobody said anything. Then I just walked over and held it up and was like 'anyone care if I steal this' and dead set, the old lady said 'that's yours now' and it was sweeeeeeeeet. Oh my god. So I don't think it's stealing if you steal from a cunt, you know what I mean?"

Van looked down at you in disbelief. He sighed, nodded, and walked away.

"Van By The Way, I love you!" you yelled at him.

"I love you too!"

An hour later, you were deep in a YouTube chain of K-Pop. The beginning was your favourites, G-Dragon, BIGBANG, Girls' Generation, 2NE1, and BLACKPINK. After that, you followed the suggestions and spiraled into a world you deeply loved, but couldn't really comprehend.

Van's cackling laughter from behind you scared both you and Ava. "What the fuck is this?"

"My favourite thing in the world," you answered, looking up at him.

"You mean besides Ava, smokes, stupid unplanned tattoos, stealing shit, and free drinks?" Van countered.

"And Van," Ava added.

"And me," he agreed.

"Yeah. Besides all that, this is my favourite thing in the world."

He nodded, made a face, and walked away.

…

A couple of months later, you moved in with Van. He said it was to make sure you were safe, to watch your back and all that. You said it was to save money and have access to better vinyl records. Really it was that he was completely in love and you were completely in love and it was all disgusting and romantic and beautiful.

Your first night in you got very, very drunk.

"Think you need some water, babe," Van said, rolling off the mess of blankets on the lounge room floor. You watched him walk into the kitchen. Suddenly, you were hungry.

"Van!" you yelled, then immediately whispered to yourself, "Banana."

"What?" he yelled back.

"Vanana please bring me a banana!"

He appeared in the doorway, grinning. "Did you just fuckin' call me Vanana?"

"Huh?" you replied, rolling over to face him. "Banana?"

When he returned to your soft nest, he handed you the fruit. "A banana from Vanana," he said. You cackled hysterically.

"That's fuckin' genius," you praised him. His head tilted in confusion, then settled in next to you, pulling you close. It wasn’t worth trying to explain to you your own genius. 

"I fucking love you so much, Y/N. You're mental and I love you,"

"I laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalove you too, Vanana. Also can we get tattooed tomorrow?”


End file.
